Thursday, October 29, 2009

Yeah most of my blogs are about relationships and love

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I came across a blog yesterday that really caught me up. I got lost in the post, was entranced even. It was as if my thoughts had been perfectly written, right there before my eyes. I relate 100% to this post and i won't even bother to explain my feelings in my own words, in my own post, because i don't think it would be as good.

"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No… don’t blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away.— Captain Corelli’s Mandolin"

Monday, October 26, 2009

" A wise girl kisses, but doesn't love; listens, but doesn't believe; and leaves before she is left."
- marilyn monroe

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Give me your heart , make it real
Or else forget about it

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I've come to the conclusion that i won't wait around for you forever boy.
I really just can't do this to myself anymore - especially now when my major focus should be the HSC.
If you don't want me, then i have to stop wanting you, because it isn't getting me anywhere.
I haven't really accepted it until now, i've always known that i should just move on, but now i really think that i have to make myself, and i will. What else is there for me to do?

Monday, October 19, 2009

I can't believe I'm finally here, awaiting my first HSC exam. It feels like only yesterday that I was at the beginning of year 11, talking about how scary the thought of leaving school was.
The next two weeks are going to involve cramming as much information as possible into my brain and probably a lot of chocolate Haha.
Good luck everyone in year 12, I feel your stress!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I'm very emotionally unstable.
I'll finally feel okay, strong, stable and under control for a little while, and then just when i almost forget my worries, another brick will be thrown and will remind me, and then i'm stopped again... unable to move forward. Stuck will all these questions, uncertainty, and feelings of foolishness.
I'm sick of being thrown around by you, but for some reason i care for you too much that i continue to stick around and spill the tears with a hope that you do care for me the way that i care for you.
The thought of you not caring may hurt more than this is hurting now - I don't know.

A less depressive note:
'Your guardian angel - the red jumpsuit apparatus' is a song that i always randomly come across on my ipod or the computer and realise how much i appreciate it. I think it might be my favourite song.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Why can't everything just be simple and perfect?
Why does something have to happen to keep my emotions on this roller coaster?
I just want to get off, i've had enough!

Oh, and also, i'm so disappointed with the fact that love stories in movies are so amazing, leaving us disappointed when boys aren't as amazing without it being acted. Do amazing love stories actually exist? And should we get our hopes up or not?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

love means so much

i feel absolutely amazing right now. These feelings really are indescribable. Especially after experiencing what has seemed like such a low, this high is incredible.
Special thank you to Tayla - you are absolutely amazing! I definitely think that i would be in a different (worse) state of mind without you.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Friday, October 9, 2009

i miss these nights and the 30 or so videos we made haha
Thinking about this happening before it did, i considered how i'd react, and i didn't like it.
And now that it has happened, it's even harder to deal with than i imagined.
I didn't realise i would cry this much.
I didn't realise that every time i would go out i would scan every face in the hope that it was you.
I didn't realise that i'd wake up crying after dreaming about you.
I didn't realise that i wouldn't be able to 100% enjoy myself anywhere that i go because in the back of my mind i'd always think about how much i miss you, and us.
Any death is horrible. This death is not a physical passing. But still a death.
An end of the relationship... and the longing hurts all the time.
If you only knew.
If you only cared.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Nearly every song i have heard in the past few days has had something to do with love.
When we badly want something it can never be found, and then as soon as we want something to disappear there's a constant reminder of it.
Also sucks how we take everything for granted