distractions

so many distractions in my life. everything is speeding through my mind, like a tape would on fast forward. and i need silence to be able to organise my thoughts, to write properly.

future

the previous two years have consisted of teachers drilling into our brains that it's a pretty fantastic idea to decide our future occupation, and for all of that time i have basically ignored their advice, as no occupations seemed to jump out at me or interest me the slightest. i didn't really feel like it was urgent to choose either, but now, everyday, time seems to be slipping away from me,  quicker than i can even acknowledge, and the hsc is dawning upon me, stressing me out and making me wonder what the hell i'm going to do with myself once it is over...

i noticed today when i was driving, that everywhere i look, i see an image i want to capture. my mind automatically starts to imagine how the picture will turn out, and how i will retake the photo adjusting the angle, and the brightness. this small realisation made it occur to me, even though deep down i have always known it, that i would really love to become a photographer. 

though somewhere within my concious self, there is something pulling me away from the idea, making me think it is silly.

sunday 3rd may, 2009

i am so, so happy right now.

Oh such a touchy topic

"When one person is dillusioned, it is known as insanity.

When a group of people are dillusioned, it is know as a religion."

3

saturday, the 18th of April 2009, 1:31pm.

i should be at work right now, slaving away at the checkout, almost falling asleep at how repetitive and relatively brainless my work has become after the good three and a half years of it. but i'm not, because i'm feeling absolutely horrible. i seriously don't think i've felt this sore of a throat in my life. my immune system shits me. i hardly ever get sick, like ever. for months and months i will be of perfect health. but then if i do get sick, it's always a good smack in the head, and put's me out of action for a solid few days. great, can't wait for the next few days of bed..

i want company. someone to just come sit in silence with me.

2

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw on it all the paint that you can."

1

We sit here, typing up the perfect black letters. Regardless of the account username, the password you choose, the age you indicate, or any of the other relatively worthless variables, we are all given a white box. Ready for our ideas to be comprehended into words. 

We have the ability to spend as long as we desire to manipulate our wording, to change the structure of each paragraph, of each sentence, of each word. Each decision we make, every individual letter that we specifically choose is representing our impulses of thoughts.

And how frustrating it is to me, that no matter how much time i spend trying to translate my thoughts, i never quite seem to have the ability to translate them perfectly. And i probably never will.